Holy Land Theme Park?

Last night DH watched Religulous (another topic in and of itself) and they featured The Holy Land Experience, a theme park devoted to Christianity. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. I recognize not everyone can make the true pilgrimage to the Holy Land for financial and safety reasons and this my be a good substitute. Never being to either the theme park or across the Atlantic, I can't comment on how similar the theme park experience is. Just seeing the pictures of the theme park however, it looks way too "fake" for me. I believe part of the true Holy Land experience would be recognizing the historical/religious signifigance of a city that is millenia old. Also, I've had experiences where I've felt a spiritual presence and I don't think I'd feel the same presence at the theme park as I would in Israel.

Now for the shows...OMG they reminded me of the shows I'd see at the Disney themeparks. And...guess where this theme park is located? Orlando. I'm truly torn on my thoughts of the shows. At first it bothered me that the park so violently imiated Jesus's life, but then I remembered in grade school how we performed the stations of the cross for the younger grades. Then it started to bother me that they turned Jesus' life in a musical and are charging people, but then I remembered how I've paid to see Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Coat.

So what's bothering me about this place? I don't think I can completely verbalize it. I think a large part has to do with the fact I'm going to through a spiritual crisis right now and trying to redefine my faith. I think I also find the logo too commercialized and the fact that it's in Orlando is overkill to me. I tried to find a picture of the sign and this is the best I could find, sorry it's blurry. I don't know, I just look at that it screams "amusement" to me rather than education or spirituality. I feel like as a society in general we're looking to believe in something bigger than ourselves and some individuals have transformed this desire into a marketing strategy. I believe it's beneficial to provide spiritual opportunities for others but I personally think it's almost criminal to capitalize on society's desire to feel a part of something bigger.

I know this can be viewed as controversial and please feel free to comment with your thoughts on the matter.

Loss of normal bodily functions...

Wow, today I truly appreciated having everything work as it should on a regular basis. My day started off with a trip to the dentist for a filling. Man, my mouth was numb for 7 hours. It felt so weird eating lunch when I couldn't even feel what I was chewing. I caught myself biting my cheek at least twice. A couple of hours later I went to the eye doctor's. Man those drops mess with your vision! I could see distance but I couldn't focus on anything small, yet alone read a text message I received. So here I was with half of my face numb and no ability to read the fine print.

Tag, You're It!

The rules: open the 6th picture folder on your computer, open the 6th photo and blog it. Write something about it. Then tag 6 more people to do the same.


My 6th album actually only has 2 pictures, but so be it... This is close up of my wedding bouquet turned into a painting. Missy Cannon did such a great job and I'm so glad I ran across this idea. Props to the the chicas on the The Knot for telling me about it.

"Woman was the first to sin and the second to be created."

I decided not to physically give up anything this Lent. Instead I'm trying to devote more of my time to redeveloping my faith through prayer, readings, and journaling. Since I had it in my possession, I started reading The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd. I'm not very far in, but I wonder if this is actually going to take me farther from my Catholic faith than bring me closer. It's very feminist driven so far and one of the excuses I have for why I don't go to church as often is that the Catholic church is too patriarchal for me. (Yes I know I wrote excuses. I've yet to determine if it's an excuse or a reason). Having been taught by sisters of the Church for over 12 years, I was constantly told I shouldn't leave the church simply because of the patriarchy; instead, I should be a voice of reason in the Church and work for more female equality, etc. Right now, I'm fed up with that thought. It's not that I want to give up and never think the Catholic church is going to have female priests, etc, it's that I don't want to feel like I have to fight so much for my faith to incorpate things I need right now. I want to be in a place where women are an equal part of the faith traditions already.

So, why am I not picking up and leaving the Catholic faith? Part of it is fear; I'm a cradle-catholic and almost all of my family and friends are Catholic. Going to a different denomination would sever a bond I have with these very important people. I know they wouldn't disown me as a friend, but it's nice knowing that I can always go to Mass with them and we generally have very similar beliefs. It's a sense of community. Also there's a voice inside of me that says I was once happy in the Catholic church and I'll be happy there again, I just need some work in that department.

So, fortunately I have never heard the words of my title spoken in any churches I've attended, but it's food for thought. I'm not willing to give up on the Catholic church just yet and I hope this Lent will bring me closer to God in some fashion.

Thinking about going back to natural color...

Left: Highlighted Right: Non-highlighted

All comments and thoughts welcome! I really truly like my hair highlighted, but I don't like the cost of it. At the minimum, I think I can get away with getting it highlighted 3 times a year, amounting to at least $300 a year. That doesn't factor in the 3 hours I need to find for the hair appointment. So, looking ahead, my income isn't going to increase much in the near future and my time constraints are certainly going to worsen, so I think it's just easier to go back to my natural color. Anybody want to convince me to continue my highlights? I'm thinking of growing it back out...well Joe wants me too, we'll see how patient I am.

Holy Crap, Lent Starts Tomorrow!

I feel completely detached from the outside world this year. I didn't even realize tomorrow is Ash Wednesday until the hospital cafeteria was promoting Fat Tuesday today. If I had been fulfilling one of my New Year's Resolutions (going to church) I'm sure I would have known Lent was so near. So, that being said, I hope to use Lent to redevelop my faith, or at least get a jump start on redevelopment. I'm picking up a faith related book and will try my darnest to go to mass every Saturday or Sunday. One of my friends said it best, faith requires work. I never realized how true that is until I stopped putting as much effort into my faith life.

Critical Care is So Not for Me!

Over the past two days one of my patients has deteriorated rapidly. His liver is not functioning anywhere near par and he's become much more confused, to the point where he doesn't recognize his wife. The problem is, we can't figure out what's wrong with him. We have run a laundry list of tests to no avail and have not found anything to explain his symptoms. Just last week he was in great spirits joking with me and I really thought he was making a turn around. I knew yesterday was a bad day, but I hoped so much today he would be back to the happy guy of last week. He's not. Right now the prognosis isn't looking good and when we were talking to his wife today I nearly burst into tears. She's done everything in her power to care for him and she sits with him all day everyday. It hurts me thinking about my patient dying, but it also hurts me thinking that this wife will be losing her husband. Fortunately she has kids in the area, but no one can replace the man with whom she's spent the majority of her life. None of us has a crystal ball, so I really don't know what will happen, but today he did not look good.

I know in pediatrics I'm gong to have patients who die, but fortunately most of my patients will be healthy and only the minority will be chronically ill with a poor prognosis. I'm glad there are people who can deal with critically ill patients, but I am not one of them and will never pretend to be.