My Pity Party

Truth be told, I'm absolutely miserable this month. I'm not cut out for critical care, the patients are just too sick for me and even if when we treat this acute flare up, the chronic disease continues. I'm working almost 80 hours a week. I have no time to study. I have no time to work out. I'm constantly rushed through meals to continue working. I'm almost too tired to make healthy meals. Right now my life is the complete opposite of the types of lives we encourage our patients to live. Tell me, how does that make sense?

I think what makes me more frustrated is this month's rotation is an indication of what residency is going to be like (ok, last month was more similar to residency-like conditions, this month is just crazy) so I'm dreading it. I'm starting to learn about the things I want and don't want in my residency program, I'm just not sure I'm qualified enough and have the scores to be too picky. Sigh.