Baptism and Hurricane Sandy

R2D2 was baptized this weekend!  Fortunately the winds and forces of Hurricane Sandy didn't come until the evening.  I'm still finding my own way back to the Catholic Church, but I'm glad we've welcomed her formally in the church. 

We live on the East Coast and pretty darn close to where the eye of the storm passed.  We lost power for about 24 hours, but that was the worst of it for us.  I am beyond thankful we're so safe.  My mother in law had some roof leaks, which isn't good, and my parents had some mild flooding in the basement.  It could all be worse.  Thank you for all the workers who helped restore our power and with the clean-up!  I was fortunate to not be on inpatient rotations and given my distance to the hospital, I didn't have to voyage out.

3 Months Old!

Baby girl turned 3 months old last week!  I can't believe our little one has been in our lives for a quarter of a year already.  This month was different than the first two since I'm back to work now. It's been an adjustment for all, but we're starting to figure out a routine.  I miss spending as much time with her and hubby.  I also miss not having to wash bottles every night!  When I first went back to work, baby girl had some nipple confusion, but fortunately since switching to Tommee Tippee bottles, her latch has been much improved.  With breastfeeding, I'm always, and I mean always, hungry!  I'm about 10 pounds away from pre-pregnancy weight and I'm starting to feel frumpy.  I mentioned this to my mom and I just have to save her response forever.  In my mom's words "Your body is making you eat to produce the milk for R2D2.  You are doing a great thing nourishing your daughter.  You can worry about those couple pounds when you are done nursing."  So, that's that.  I'm going to continue to try to make healthy choices, but I know I personally can't diet while breastfeeding.  I'm also going to try to make more time to work out, which has been difficult since going back to work.

R2D2 is back to sleeping longer periods of time again :)  She'll sleep for closer to five hours now.

We didn't have a doctor's appointment this month, so it's difficult to say exactly how much she weighs.  Using our home scale, I think she's just over 11 pounds now.  She's wearing size 3 months clothing now and size 1 diapers.  She's up to eating about 4.5 ounces every 3-4 hours during the day.  I've been fortunate enough to be making enough milk. 

Baby girl's eyes are still blue!  One of her favorite things now is looking at her mobile.  She doesn't mind being in her crib when looking her mobile, but we're still working on naps in the crib.

I'm sure there's more, but honestly, being a working mom is exhausting! 

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Lactation Cookies

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Lactation Cookies by Noel Trujillo

Recipe from Food.com

This recipe made about 4 dozen cookies for me.  Honestly, I can't tell if it increased my supply because I'm not eating them regularly.  Regardless, they are absolutely delicious!!  I ended up freezing most of the batch and pull them out when I want a dessert.  My mom and brother loved them too!

Ingredients

• 1 cup butter
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
• 4 tablespoons water
• 2 tablespoons flax seed meal
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 3 cups oats
• 1 cup chocolate chips
• 2 -4 tablespoons brewer's yeast

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. Mix the flaxseed meal and water and let sit for 3-5 minutes.
3. Beat butter, sugar, and brown sugar well.
4. Add eggs and mix well.
5. Add flaxseed mix and vanilla, beat well.
6. Sift together flour, brewers yeast, baking soda, and salt.
7. Add dry ingredients to butter mix.
8. Stir in oats and chips.
9. Scoop onto baking sheet.
10. Bake for 12 minutes

I love my husband

The difference a year makes

People tell you being a mom is unlike anything you've ever experienced before.  While I certainly listened to them, it didn't set in until I actually became a mom.  Seeing my baby girl look up and smile at me truly brought tears to my eyes today.  I have friends who have experienced losses and friends who are having difficulty getting pregnant.  I look at our daughter and hope these friends can experience this unconditional love too.

I've written before that I feel like I'm a mom to two children.  I think I would be in awe of our daughter even if I hadn't experienced a loss, but having experienced one, I know I appreciate our gift that much more.

When R2D2 gets old enough to understand, I imagine I'll tell her about my miscarriage (decades from now).  She and her sibling are connected.  I had my positive pregnancy test on June 10, 2011, unplanned, R2D2's baby shower was June 10, 2012.  R2D2 was born July 17, 2012, my D&C was July 18, 2011.  I hope one day to give R2D2 a living sibling, but unknown to her, she already has one.  So, while I will always grieve our little one that was never born, I'll love R2D2 that much more and be thankful for every day I have with her.

(This post also stems from being back to work and seeing terminally ill children and not even wanting to imagining what those parents are experiencing).

My Breastfeeding Woes

This past week was my first full week back to work.  I was fortunate enough to only work 3-4 days the first two weeks back.  This week, I'm definitely noticing a change in our nursing relationship, and not a good one.  R2D2 takes about 4 bottles a day and then I nurse her 3-4 times when I'm home.  This week the first feed she's almost always not taking a big enough latch and then often biting and pulling away.  Not fun!  I know that with her age, it could be that she's more easily distracted, but I definitely think it's laziness/nipple confusion because by our morning feed she has the pattern down again.  To help support my worries of laziness/nipple confusion so more, after having only the breast since Friday night and it's now Sunday, she's back to efficient and effective nursing.  I adore being able to nurse her, so I'm determined to make this work.  I have a medela pump, so right now we're using the medela bottles.  I thought about buying Calma Nipple but reviews state babies generally won't take it if they're already had other nipples since it's so much work.  Plus that darn nipple is expensive!  Others have recommended Avent, so last night I bought some Avent Natural bottles from Target.  The nipples are definitely wider than the the medela nipples so I'm hopeful.  I've also heard good things about Breastflow and Tommee Tippee, so those are options too.  I never thought I'd spend so long in a bottle aisle analyzing the shapes of nipples.  Again, such is the life of a working breastfeeding mom.

Oh! My other breastfeeding excitement for the week, I left my pump supplies home Friday!  Friday morning I pumped before going into work, washed my valves and flanges and put them by the sink to dry.  At work I go to pump in the morning and uh oh, no flanges and valves!  There was a Target about 15 minute from work, but I was carrying three pagers and it wasn't quite feasible to leave work for an hour.  Fortunately our hospital uses Medela for our breast feeding moms and our lactation consultant had extra parts.  That being said, we couldn't meet up until about 7 hours after my last pumping session.  Yowsers.  I know some moms hand express, so here I am in our resident work room looking up a you tube video on "how to hand express."  Thankfully no medical students walked in while I was watching that video.  But again, a breastfeeding mom does what she needs to do.   For some relief, I ended up trying to hand express.  Yeah, hopefully that will be the last time I have to do that.  It's not very easy trying to contain the milk and it's definitely a lot of work to get a little bit of milk.  All in all, I was still able to pump what she took by the bottle while I was at work, so that worked out and now I'll be carrying an extra set of pumping supplies in my bag.

I'm a Breastfeeding Mom

I love that I'm able to breastfeed.  My milk has come in, the baby has a good latch, and we've been successfully breastfeeding for 2 months now.  Our relationship has changed since I have returned to work, but so far so good.  Breastfeeding is important to me and I'm learning a breastfeeding mom does what a breastfeeding mom needs to do.  It's an amazing feeling knowing that my body continues to provide all of R2D2's nourishment.  Our bodies really are wonderful things.

 I have pumped in a public bathroom at Camden Yards.  The ballpark did say I could use the family bathroom at guest services.  Yeah, not very nursing friendly.

I then proceeded to pay $4.50 for a cup of ice to store above pumped milk.  Yes, ridiculous.

 I have nursed in a fitting room, but the furniture section is much more comfortable!

In an effort to help spend as much time as possible with my little one, I occasionally pump while I drive.

 And the car's cup holders make a perfect place to store my milk for the rest of the drive home.

I've always found a place to pump at work, even if it's a patient room during our lunch break.

It's not always easy, but breastfeeding is important to me and I hope I'll continue to find ways to make it work.