Deceased Patients

The majority of my posts is recipes or book reviews, but I sometimes need to use this blog as an emotional outlet too, so I apologize in advance for the sad subject.

My hospital has a system set up to notify any provider who's taken care of a patient in the past two years if the patient has passed. While I appreciate the knowledge, it pains me every time I see one of these notifications. Today I received one on a patient I helped care for several months ago. At that time I knew the prognosis was poor, but looking at the patient, I only saw hope. The patient had made so much progress, the patient had good spirits, and I could only hope this patient would be the one who defies the odds. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

I appreciate knowing the ultimate fate of the patients, but it pains me every time I receive one of these notifications. I think about how their lives were cut short. I think about how their parents and families have an amount of grief I can't even imagine. I think about how life is unfair. I think about what I learned from each patient and how I can carry that with me. I remember their names, their smiles, their pain.

I don't understand why horrible things happen to people, and I don't think I ever will.