Friday, January 15, 2010

Went to Mass Today

Every year my med school puts together a dinner for a physician to tell us about his or her "Calling to Medicine." Being a Catholic institution, there's an optional mass before the dinner.

I almost didn't go to the mass. The last time I went to mass I left the church feeling extremely angry. I skipped Christmas mass to avoid these feelings of anger and I didn't know if I was ready to go back today. Well lo and behold, I went and I feel a little better. It was a 30 minute mass in a conference room. The priest suggested we stay seated for the whole mass. I'm not going to lie, it felt awkward not standing and kneeling at the usual times. In fact, it made me miss this ritual.

I don't know where I am on my faith journey right now. I still don't know if the Catholic Church is the place for me, but I know I still continue to feel a void. I may give mass a try again this weekend, but I'm not sure. Perhaps, instead of going to church on Sundays I'll devote an hour to spiritual reading. I didn't do anything last weekend, so I guess I'll have to see how this weekend goes.

Either way, God Bless! (And please keep not only the people of Haiti in your prayers, but all individuals affected by natural disasters.)


acdc080109 said...

I think it's great that you're still so willing to stay open-minded and continue giving Catholicism a try. When DH and I started dating he wasn't attending Mass, but now our spiritual relationship is the center of our marriage. It really helps us keep things in perspective, and praying together is one of the most special parts of our day. If you have any questions or want to talk about this anytime, I (or we) would absolutely be willing to do so with you.

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